Can I Wear Black to a Wedding?

Is Wearing Black Appropriate at Weddings?

It is a social faux pas to don your most dazzling black dress to a wedding? Fear not, here is a guide about taboos and to-do’s for your next nuptial celebration. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Zella, an international etiquette consultant. 

The short answer is: Yes, it is acceptable to wear black to most formal weddings in Western Cultures. However, nuance must be considered. Read below to determine if this is an appropriate wardrobe choice for your event. Feel free to jump to the sections that are of best interest for you.  

Why was it considered taboo to wear black to a wedding?

Historically, black symbolized mourning and death throughout most of Western fashion history. Women were expected to be “in mourning” (meaning in all black) for up to two and a half years after the loss of a close family member, such as a husband or child. One of my favorite tidbits is that Queen Victoria was in mourning for 40 years- from the death of her husband, Prince Albert to the day she died. Additionally, black was also worn by the working class or domestic workers, such as servants. In summary, black was the color of tragedy and labor for the upper class of Western societies, such as the United States, the United Kingdom and France. This all began to change after the first World War, where women entered the workforce to support the war efforts. After WWI, black became an emboldened statement of feminism, and the liberated woman. You began seeing contemporary fashion designers such as Coco Chanel implementing black into their designs, establishing it as a color of bold elegance (The New York Historical). 

When is it appropriate to wear black to a wedding?

Since then, black’s solemnity has shifted from being mournful to glamorous in the West. It is seen as the quintessential color for elegance and chic, thank God. Thereby, when you are invited to a formal wedding, feel free to wear a black gown. If you see a “black-tie” or “white-tie” dress code on the invitation, you may confidently wear black. If the dress code is “cocktail,” it is still permissible to wear black, but ensure the rest of the ensemble is not too formal (think knee-length rather than floor-length). Black tends to elevate the formality of a garment, so consider this and adhere to the dress code. Personally, I prefer to wear black during fall and winter, as it complements the seasonality of fashion.

When is it inappropriate to wear black to a wedding?

As a caveat to the above, you must consider the couple’s background and the location. In stricter religious ceremonies, black may still be associated with mourning and wearing black may be akin to wearing white. I personally made this grave mistake myself at the age of 25, before my career pursuits in etiquette. I failed to research the customs of this particular religious group and wore a silk, black 1950’s cocktail dress to the wedding. I was the ONLY person wearing black, and a friend who also attended even gasped (literally), “you’re wearing black?!” Inevitably, I looked and felt out of place. I should have known better, I was consciously unfamiliar with the customs of this faith and didn’t do my research. So it goes.

Internationally, black still conveys solemnity in many Eastern cultures, such as in China, India or during Islamic ceremonies (Notably, it is also impermissible to wear white to an Indian wedding, as white is often the color for funerals rather than being associated with the bride). Steer clear of wearing black to these weddings. If your research efforts fail, just ask the couple shortly after receiving the RSVP. Please avoid asking them the morning of their wedding.

Lastly, consider the environment and dress code. As aforementioned, black often increases the formality of an outfit. If you’re attending a beachside wedding in the summer or a more casual barn reception, a black dress may be misfitting.